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breaking up with a scorpio

topic posted Sun, April 27, 2008 - 8:13 PM by  x
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i'm a scorpio
i broke up with a girl(she really broke up with me) that i love and no matter what she did to me, i still wanted her. there is a part of me that loves her no matter what until "I" decide that i no longer love her. she could curse at me, put me down, say that i'm stupid and cheat on me but until i let myself know, i'm still in love and wanting this person. i sit around and can plot evil revenge upon her but i will never act on it because i would never hurt her. i wish her the best in life but really rather she failed at everything she does because its not with me. its like you have hurt me and i want you to feel the pain i felt by you failing and everyone betray you and your lovers cheats on you.

are the scorpios like that? no matter what happens, until i stop loving you, i will always want you. this is not about stalking or being crazy or the if i cant have you no one will bullshit but just wanting one person so much that all other girls will never be her. what are some stories you all have about trying to break up with a scorpio or being a scorpio and breaking up with someone.
posted by:
x
offline x
North Carolina
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  • Unsu...
     

    Re: breaking up with a scorpio

    Sun, April 27, 2008 - 8:46 PM
    Hi Joe, wow I know what you mean, i am a scorpio and have been in love for a year and he has done things to me that everyone scoffs at... But i love him... no matter what... i think that is our loyalty.... when we are in Love we are IN love and it takes alot to let go, even if and when the signs tell us we shouldn't be..it'snot about what is right its about what we FEEL.
    I think we understand the depth and complexities of why people make mistakes, all humans do after all, so we have compassion for the person that we love and we are also so deep and passionate that we forgive... but we never forget! I do believe we are so idealistc thougha nd determined to make things work against all odds (we could care less about odds) that we are often in love with the fantasy of what the person is... so it may help to step back...and ponder that. i for one feel tyhat my ideal person should be open enough to feeling and reciprocating what i feel... they usually do, and if they don't, well then they arent worthy of our undying loyalty, and believ me there is someone else out there that is! We just don'tlike to start over as we give out heart and soul..... one doesn't just take that back.... Best of luck, love your honesty, another great scorp trait!
    • x
      x
      offline 1

      Re: breaking up with a scorpio

      Sun, April 27, 2008 - 9:16 PM
      another thing with me about breaking up is that i am so private that its like i want you to understand that i'm in love with you and that means that i have let my gaurd down enough to you and let only you in to the true self that i am. i know that you could hurt me now and i allow that to happen because ive let you in. after we break up, its as if you walk away with a part of me with you. it could be just knownledge you have learned about me or you have seen me at my weakest. i want it all back when you leave, almost like i need your mind erased of what you know about me because i'm private. its ok that you know about me or see the openess of myself while your with me as a girlfriend but i dont want you taking it with you. with me, people only gets to know what i want them to know about me until i'm ready to share it with them. i am a scorpio nov 5th and she was a taurus may 11
  • Re: breaking up with a scorpio

    Sun, April 27, 2008 - 9:54 PM
    ok, so for a more serious reply, yeah, it sucks getting dumped. i've been there. we've all been there.

    my worst story involved a girlfriend going to michigan to visit her schizophrenic ex-boyfriend, me knowing she was going back there to fuck him but being too in love w/her to care, her coming back to the house & living w/me for 2 more weeks, then leaving me w/a $700 a month rent to pay, while making $7 an hour.
    apologies to those who've heard the story, thus far, before.
    the story also involved me, 4 months later, like a sucker, letting her convince me to accept a bus ticket from her mother so i could go to MI, from AZ (3 days on a fucking greyhound), & steal her away from him. whereupon she got me stoned, made out w/me on her sister's front porch, left, came back the next day, got me stoned again, made out w/me on her sister's front porch again, then told me she couldn't leave him. so i spent xmas night that year in a truckstop in dexter, MI, waiting for a ride back to WI. i felt so fucking stupid about that whole affair for so long, & truth be told, i still do feel a little stupid about it.

    i've since decided i'm done w/her. my life's improved significantly because of it.
    my advice: forget about revenge. even if it works, you'll end up feeling like an ass hole. forget about the girl. you're right--no other girl will be her. no other girl will be all the things you loved about this girl, & no other girl will be all the things you hated about this girl.
    change something in your life, move if you need to, change of scenery, etc, all those things everybody always tells you don't help. they do help.
    • Unsu...
       

      Re: breaking up with a scorpio

      Mon, April 28, 2008 - 5:50 AM
      forget about revenge. even if it works, you'll end up feeling like an ass hole.

      Revenge is sweet, however, it's self destructive and usually comes back at you. The best revenge you can have is to move on, find another girl, one who loves you and is faithful to you. If she comes back later, your revenge will be that you love another. Worst revenge in the world for her and non self destructive to you.
      • Re: breaking up with a scorpio

        Mon, April 28, 2008 - 7:26 AM
        I don't know but I think scorpios in general (when someone betrayed or hurt us) can't stand to see our ex's happy. We want them to hurt & feel what we felt.
        • Unsu...
           

          Re: breaking up with a scorpio

          Mon, April 28, 2008 - 7:34 AM
          And they will in time...Like Dave says..."We've all been there" we all go through it some time in life. The more you love, the more you hurt when it's over. If you didn't hurt then you didn't love and not to have loved is empty and cold and sad when ya think about it.
          • Re: breaking up with a scorpio

            Mon, April 28, 2008 - 8:12 AM
            So bittersweet. No advice. Just empathy. You hit a nerve, at least for a lot of us. ...so emotional now I could cry, I just wanted to have some Monday chat!
            I'm not a Scorpio but a Cancer and we have the same problem with letting go. I miss my Scorpio, and deep inside I hope to hell he misses me and is still loving me and not planning for my demise, but evaluating his life as I am mine, and making the necessary adjustments to his life so that we may resume our life on this planet together. Knowing the intense man that he is, 75% of my intuition tells me that he is. When you're in the middle of all this pain and suffering, it's almost hopeless, but thankfully time is always a good healer. Even if it only brings a lesson learned. Or should I say especially if?

            And it's good to share your puzzle pieces with people, I think. She'll always have some of yours and you have some of hers, right? Don't be scared now to share more pieces with people. They just have to be piece worthy.
      • Re: breaking up with a scorpio

        Thu, May 1, 2008 - 2:08 PM
        Agree with you there Bobbi...too draining on all levels! Yes, I too have envisioned and entertained such fanciful thoughts of how it surely would be great to have that person feel the pain they have inflicted. However, I am glad I never acted upon such dark thoughts.But always find that it has exhausted me to the core of my soul. Perhaps knowing or being aware of our own natures and how that element of extremism can be as you've said "self destructive "is what should keep all of us in check. Yes, our paths as scorpions always leads to multiple deaths and rebirths...and in it...we strive to become stronger and wiser. Being such passionate beings...loving so deeply..we eventually open ourselves as well in hurting quite deeply as well. Kudos to the enlightenment about moving on...tis true...tis true indeed!
  • Re: breaking up with a scorpio

    Mon, April 28, 2008 - 9:52 AM
    Well, sorry guys, but I think I’m on the other end of the spectrum here. And Joe, I don’t mean to insult your feelings, nor anyone else’s; for that matter. But if some one breaks up with me, I’m done. Finished. Outta there. I can’t imagine hanging on to some one who doesn’t want me or holding on to a deep love for some one that has decided they don’t love me at all. There have been times when I would stick it out for a bit when my gut was telling me that is was over… just to be sure, but once the words are spoken and the bonds are broken; that’s that. I’m moving on.

    I agree with you Joe about the privacy thing and how it feels like the when the other person breaks up with you that they’re taking a part of you with them because we’ve opened up and exposed our secrets. Yea….that’s painful. But most of the time they don’t even realize they know the secrets so they don’t know the power we think they might suddenly have. They would only ‘have’ any power over us if we gave it to them be letting them know that it bothered us at all. Most of the time, what I think is a deep secret is really nothing to the other person.

    As for revenge; not my thing. I’ve never been one to go out of my way to make it worse for some one else just because they’ve wronged me in some way. Not that I don’t entertain some dark thoughts. I’ve just never acted upon them. That sort of thing drains me of energy that I would be much happier pouring into developing a new relationship or working through the pain of the one that’s ended.

    Break-ups suck and hurt. The pain is sometimes unbearable. But like most things with Scorpios, it’s a transition; a little death and rebirth. A bath in the fire to clean us and refresh us for the next time around.
    • Re: breaking up with a scorpio

      Mon, April 28, 2008 - 10:33 AM
      I agree Ice...with the rebirth and transition thing. But we, at least in my case, we hold on the love and it makes us even more passionate. We don't forget the love, its not necessarily the person but the love we felt and how it transformed us.
      • Re: breaking up with a scorpio

        Mon, April 28, 2008 - 1:17 PM
        "its not necessarily the person but the love we felt and how it transformed us. "

        Yes, I agree with that much. There's always some feeling; sometimes it's still a little loving. For me it's just more of a memory of the feeling. I don't really hold on if the other person rejected me or obviously doesn't want me. And I can say that I don't *hate* anyone. Past loves always have a little bit of my love but I don't still love them. Gosh - I don't know if Im making any sense.

        I definately agree with knowing that we have been transformed and I would even go so far as to say that there I have gratitude for that too.
        • Re: breaking up with a scorpio

          Mon, April 28, 2008 - 1:43 PM
          theres a good book

          "open To Desire"

          we've all been there, best to you, by the way sunshine, what are you doing later ? just a thought best to all...
          • Re: breaking up with a scorpio

            Mon, April 28, 2008 - 2:30 PM

            Later?
            Oh maybe cook a little dinner, have some wine, wonder what could've been.. the usual

            jokin( maybe)

            btw Sol, I think you have a special gift of knowing when I need ya, wanna go get some ice cream or somethin?
  • Re: breaking up with a scorpio

    Mon, April 28, 2008 - 8:53 PM
    Sometimes I hang on to where it's bad.
    Other times I can just say shove it.

    Depends on how much I feel for them.

    That loyalty we have, wow, does it ever get abused.

    I'm learning to let go at certain times, and see if they come back. I think that is my lesson right now is learning a certain amount of patience in situations. Usually if I busted them in a lie, I would just throw it out there right away, now I'm just learning, is that even worth it and drawing back....Before it gets worse.

    I did some revenge when I was married, my ex was a scorpio too. And he really did bring the wrath out in me. I was sneaky about what I did. And well, at the time it felt good, but I was still alone, depressed and miserable with a lot of time on my hands.

    One day you will wake up and just not feel the same for her. It's weird how that happens. I can be all about someone, they do me wrong, I get a chance to see them, and I don't feel anything. It's like I erased anything good about them from my brain.
    • Re: breaking up with a scorpio

      Tue, April 29, 2008 - 2:02 PM
      Yeah, thats why that phrase " love is forever" doesn't count, and probably makes people more dependant...

      when you look at relations as healing or poison, its easier to let the emotional draining ones just go away, it also has something to do with self-respect, also it sets up better boundaries so we can enjoy certain others...

      by the way sunshine, the other day I had some pomegranite and chocolate chip Haagan daaz...

      and later this week I'm going for some of their green tea ice cream, I'll think of you as I lick the bowl...
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    Re: breaking up with a scorpio

    Wed, April 30, 2008 - 9:41 PM
    I feel you there, bro. I have recently broken up with a woman whom I had an affair with that is married. She is the best woman that I have ever been with that made me truly feel alive in a relationship with, and I was the same for her. No woman in my past will ever compare. It really sucks that she cannot leave her marriage with this man she is tired of because of her daughter, family's influence ,and her culture. I know we still have strong attraction and feelings for each other. And If she were strong enough to stand up for herself and fight her family and culture I would fight along side her fiercely. I want her all to myself. So passionate is my love for her. So potentially violent is my hate and pain at the realisation of the odds against us. She wanted to continue sneaking around and making love in risky places and times. But I have become very grim and empty. I had to end it. It was killing me. I still love her. I will always love her. I miss her little quirks. I miss the way she smells. The way she feels. The way she looked at me. I am trying to get over her but it feels impossible. I am going to remain strong, though. We are scorpio, Joe. It is easy to get more partners. As they say: there are plenty of fish in the sea. but all I know is this "right now, I am still only inlove with one".
  • Re: breaking up with a scorpio

    Thu, May 1, 2008 - 3:58 AM
    Hi Joe,
    Yes, I agree with you on that sentiment that it isnt over until its over and decided by YOU. As you have said, until you decide that you cannot and no longer love her....then it is over. But yes, I believe that we scorps tend to hold on until WE realize,accept and come to terms with it and that it is best to let go...albeit painful. Most of the hype about scorpionic revenge can be true if we allow ourselves to become victims of our own baser instincts. Our scorpionic instincts when threatened and slighted...automatically reverts to wanting our other "half", or the person of our affections...who have hurt us deeply, to see and wish them to feel the same pain they have inflicted upon us(if not three times more for good measure), but we must always be careful with regards to what you wish for you just might get. Pain is such a powerful emotion and Revenge...just as equally powerful, but Love is more powerful. Inspite of the pain that you feel and the circumstances that have led to this breakup. Let it go, for it is not worth being tortured to shreds on all levels of your psyche. I agree with you that wanting someone so much that all others fail to meet up to the object of your love is equally demanding in itself. It is a matter of choice Joe and you will overcome this painful hurdle. The wound may be fresh and deep, but the scar left behind will take some time to fade . Choose to love yourself more in order to move on and get through this. Choose also to love compassionately and eventually forgive those who hurt you and to see their frailties and imperfections for what they are...because we as scorpions know all too well that our passionate natures can delve into extremes of either loving deeply and completely or hating and wishing ill upon those who hurt us.

    Its funny, (I can actually see humor in my experiences) when I think of times when I wanted to rip the eyes out of those men who dared betray me and the depth of love I had to offer and to give of myself. I am a Scorpion, and I use to say to myself...no one does that and gets away with it. lol. How dare they hurt me in such a manner, and I felt as if my world...had collapsed around me. I have never been able to handle betrayal well, it is usually a done deal when someone betrays me. It is time to move on. Of course I will forgive them, but it is best to let go for one's own sanity. It usually takes time for me to eventually see (when I choose to see the truth of the matter...that it was not meant to be).I have worked quite diligently in working on my perceptions and trying to understand people and accepting certain things about how they act or react towards me. Most of all learning to try to look beyond the pain has been quite challenging. Yes, even if I still loved the person, I wouldnt be able to totally trust them as before. But it is best to let go and rise above it all. If they dont want to be with you...then it isnt worth keeping them. They are not meant to be with you. You are a survivor as all scorps are...you will get through this.
    Hang in there!
    Phoenix
  • Re: breaking up with a scorpio

    Thu, May 1, 2008 - 10:06 AM
    I'm a cancer. I'm suffering from withdrawel from a scorpio. (Two actually) We (Dand I) started talking then had a few dates, then he drops off the planet. Then we reconnnected by his doing...just where we left off. He's a lifelong bachelor, I'm ending a 26 yr marriage. He started to distance himself again and I only learned he was in the hospital awaiting THR while his mother also passed away in the same hospital---from a response to a random text I initiated. I was there post surg... (driving to the next state north of me)to give him cards and rub his feet-- at his request.. I texted him a bit next post -op day. Only to have him ignore my texts the day of the funeral and day after. I let a few more days go by, then made my peace. I'm not afraid of his situation, My text said that "toilet chairs and what ever else with his condition didn't scare me, but cruelty does. [To sleep with me, tell me I'm an angel, talk of being soulmates and who knows where "this" will go]...to then be ignored... is cowardice and malice,,whether you just buried your mother or not. A simple reply saying I need time and space or even Leave me alone, demonstrates more character than leaving me hanging and hurting does. " Again, no reply. I've dried those tears and demand self respect. But I'm still crying and still longing for him. It's him, not the idea of a relationship. I'm secure in being alone in fact. I made myself be independent from any relationship for over a year. I just don't understand the mixed messages.

    To complicate things, I met him through another scorpio. This guy was much younger ( M,32, I was 46)and we have a strong connection. We met just once over a year ago and wound up having sex. In my ignorance I really thought it was just to talk, but the desire was intense and before long that's what happened. We had talked for three months prior.. Immediately afterward I ended up cutting it off meeting in person) then and there, because I wasn't ready. He wanted a relationship, spoke of the future together etc. And he should be looking for someone closer to his age wanting to have his babies....right? I couldn't rob him of that.

    But we have stayed in touch off and on. We connect even though we don't make eye contact. I really have strong feelings for him even though we never had a fleshed out relationship. Is that absurd?

    We were in sort of a triangle with this other guy (D) when he ended up in the hospital/buried his mother. We (M and I) texted and talked about the other guy. A month prior,I told him (M) I had seen him (D)a few times and liked him a lot. He seemed to be OK with that and never said anything negative, just told me he (D) was a good guy. Fast forward to when I asked (M) how he (D) was doing (cause he went to the wake) he (M)became hostile and angry with me. He told me I should ask him myself. I told him I was giving (D) space and asking him (M) because I didn't know where I stood with him. I was totally honest and he turned from one extreme to another in the way he talked to me.

    I would have a relationship with him (M) in a heartbeat, but I can't because he's too young and where can it go? But we don't let go of each other and we tease and play and are also serious in our communications. I really care for him too. How warped is that? I don't know how not to care. I think it's this triangle thing that is awful now. I thought it would all be OK cause (M) and I never really continued and just accepted that it can't be. But I know we both desire it. (Maybe even more becaue of the triangle?) I held back to do what is right, but now am in a mess, emotionally. If D ever smartens up I could see a future, while M is still in my heart and mind hence the torment for both of us.

    I really never wanted to be in this situation. I care for two of them and enjoy neither. And ...really ...only want ONE PERSON TO BE SOLD OUT FOR. Is this normal? I pride myself on being moral and honest , living by principle and convictions and not being ruled by my emotions and look at where I am---and this is worse than reality tv and tabloids. None of this was intentional. It hurts. We all are hurting. Now what?
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      Re: breaking up with a scorpio

      Sun, May 4, 2008 - 5:03 PM
      you just have to be like a reptile and regrow that part of you that has broken off.... the more I reflect on my lost love now. the more I realise she wasn't all that. The things good about our relationship together was all because of me. More me than her. Throughout this stupid ordeal one good thing I got out of it was learning my potential to express and live to be passionate to a very high degree. they cant take that away no matter how empty you may feel. I know how powerful I can love someone. I am very proud of what I have endured. Not everyone gets a chance to love deeply and get their heart ripped out. It literally feels like a death. I chose to be a samurai about it and accept it . Relish this death. If you were not alive, you wouldn't feel it so intensely...............It will pass
    • Unsu...
       

      Re: breaking up with a scorpio

      Sun, May 4, 2008 - 5:59 PM
      go your separate ways. dwelling on it will not give you whatever it was you were hoping for. and i am sure he was rude, but a few days or a few weeks may feel appropriate for you - but the death in the family was not yours - and judging him in context/proximity to such an occurance, will not make him contact you. but, it certainly makes it very easy for him to not answer you. it is not unusual for someone to not want to deal with emotional issues for sometimes - many MONTHS - after a death. you rode his ass much to fast after her death. talking about toilet chairs in the same letter demeans and takes away from his own internal feelings, as well as his pride. that is most likely why he did not want to deal with it. And even if that is not the case - you are judging cruelty by your own standards. that is good for YOU. it doesn't nessisarily mean as much to anyone else. this is one of those times that maybe you overthought things to quickly, in too short a space, and spoke too much. it may be in your best intrest to call 'no harm, no fowl', set things aside, and engage yourself in a new area of life, with unrelated or new people. self respect will gradually come back when you forget to think about this past issue. In the future, before relationships, endeavor to give yourself all the things you expect out of others - so you can just 'ride' and see what wonderful surprises the universe may present you. One usually finds what one is looking for, when you stop looking for it, or let go of your attachement to 'how' things should be.

      one thing tho - you will not force a scorpio man to respond - it just doesn't work. its an exercise in futility. scorps come to the table on their own accord.

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