Now he really pissed me off!

topic posted Sat, January 20, 2007 - 8:14 PM by  Unsubscribed
Been with this Scorp for eight months. Took along time to "seal the deal" and during that time we became very emotionally involved. He spent along time testing me, passed most and he let me slide on the rest.

BTW, he is a Scorpio and I am a Gemini with a Scorpio moon.

Now he is torturing me. He knows and understands that communication is a big deal to me (Geminis love to communicate? Nooo) In the beginning if I didnt answer a call or text of his that was it, he was driving to the ends of the earth to find me. He could interrogate me on everything I did trying to make me account for every second. No problem, I can handle his intensity.
Well a couple a weeks ago I called him, no reply for a few days then he comes around. Text him, no reply, comes around again in a few days. When I ask him if he got my text well he went up one side of me and down the other. The last three times I have text him he has not replied, but made up reasons to stop into my work to see me.

So with Scorps needing to be shown that they are truely wanted, adored blah blah blah do I call/text? Because now he making me really miserable. I know he cares but then hurts me where he knows I am vunerable (communication).

I am almost afraid of asking him whats the deal as I feel it makes me sound needy but a really large part of me is saying F it, just bring it up and if it pushes his buttons and pisses him off then too freakin bad.

Ok everybody, thanks for your help! I am going to call him on it, I am tired of the games. Me thinks the Gem's arent the only twin sign out there.
posted by:
  • I am also a fellow Gemini sun and Scorpio moon. If I was in your predicament, I would not text him. I'll play his game. Games are fun. I will not text him and fight temptation at the same time but it is worth it. I like games. Did u happened to post last year in another tribe or post. But yeah, play like a Scorpio. You are part Scorpio, you know. Let the scorpio part take control.
  • "He spent along time testing me, passed most and he let me slide on the rest.”
    -He probably got to thinking about you gave him and found something he let you slide on, but he actually didn’t like

    "So with Scorps needing to be shown that they are truely wanted, adored blah blah blah do I call/text?
    -yes we need to be shown that we are truly wanted, maybe you should go see him instead of call/text as it is extremely impersonal imo

    "Me thinks the Gem's arent the only twin sign out there. "
    -Disagree, we scorps are single entities but what we choose to reveal to each person may be different

    "I am almost afraid of asking him whats the deal as I feel it makes me sound needy but a really large part of me is saying F it, just bring it up and if it pushes his buttons and pisses him off then too freakin bad. "
    - You are going to get the cold hard truth. it's not so much going to upset him as he will tell you what he doesn't like about you and move on or if your lucky about himself.
  • IMO, You have to find balance between not playing his game...if it works for him he'll do it more(this is true of people in general not just scorps)and yet scorps are in my experience bad about making contact...including me.
  • Perhaps you should veiw your communication relationship with him more as a cat. He will let you pet and stroke him for as long as he enjoys it, should you always offer that freedom to him he will always come back. But if you try to hold him down and force your affection on him, he'll get squirmy and the claws will come out.

    Sometimes, I'm just not in the mood to talk to some one - even a lover. It's nothing personal. I'm just not in the mood. Of course, anyone expecting to hear back from me will be a tad frustrated and perhaps even angry. Those who know me, know I'll call back soon. Those who pressure me and insist that I abide by their time frame will soon push me away.
    • at dinner time they always come back. (cats)

      i think she should pop in and see him. Be cool and be strong.
      He could be just doing that (i want to be alone thing) or he could be making you crawl like you made him.

      I wondering what tests she failed.
    • freaky! I was just thinking about how I was like a cat in relationships and then it moved on to how someone I love is like a cat who has been abused before. good analogy...of course not everyone can have a relationship that way.
      • Oh, I am completely feline in romantic relationships. I've only recently identified with this in the last few years.

        On this guy, though, I'm begining to think she should just move on. Communication styles aside, he's been really acting like an arse and doesn't really deserve much more effort on her part.
        • Unsu...
          Exio seems to be the voice of reason here for me ...but that's just me....why is it that everyone has to be playing a "game" are we all that passive aggressive?
          Why can't it be, (ahem..rather) that we have different ways of comminicating.
          WHY WHY WHY if you really want to know WHY - WHY NOT ASK HIM?
          You can do it girl, really.
  • Unsu...
    I really do not want to play games.

    When I talked about Scorps being twins I do feel that as he will be upset with me about not communicating with him but yet I have accept the fact that he is able to pick and choose when to communicate with me. It ties in with depression. He is on top of the world one day and then bottom of the pits the next. I love his intensity, I am not afraid of him. I love his sexual intensity, I know he says things and does things thinking I will be freaked out but I never am. I hate the word soul mates but with him I truly feel that I am home. I have never been with someone who I have been open with so emotionally and physically yet at the same time someone who uses my words against me.

    I really like the analogy about the cat.

    So answer me this: If you know that ignoring me is going to upset me big time so you do it and yet I do not say a word to you about it are you not going to view me as weak and allowing you to walk all over me? Or are you looking at it like I want to control you if I bring it up?
    • he might well have you in a no win situation, if you don't say anything he will keep using it against you and if you do say something he will use anything he can to make it seem like you should not have brought it up. Maybe. Or maybe he needs you to show that you won't take his crap. I feel more comfortable with people when I know they will stand up for themselves. and hey if you stand up for yourself and he is an ass about it...then you still get to feel good about standing up for yourself with someone who is being an ass.
  • No offense Samantha, but I am a Scorpio, and my recommendation would be - Dump this Dude!

    Testing you? Interrogating you? Ignoring you? Playing games? Do you think you deserve this?

    Not all Scorpios behave that way, and regardless of the sign, abusive behaviour need not be tolerated. Astrological characteristics of a sign are no excuse for accepting shitty behaviour.

    Gemini needs and loves to communicate, and you deserve to be who you are without the games.

    Just my 2 bits' worth.
  • having been off and on with a triple gemini for a year and a half, i've got some thoughts on this one. i think the hardest part is that geminis "communicate" while scorpios "express". what i'm saying is that geminis speak thru their heads, while scorpios speak thru their hearts (and certain other body parts). i think that geminis, as communicative as they are, have a hard time expressing emotions and desires. they like head games, and often play them without realizing that they're playing them. and they play them on themselves more than on others. so if you feel that he's playing games, you may want to realize that that's your perspective. you gems have a way of twisting everything thru intellectualising. us scorps are moody... if someone texts/calls me and i don't feel that i'm in a mood to communicate well with them, i'd rather not communicate. this was intensified with the triple gem, because she was so reactive to my words, that i really didn't want to communicate with her when i felt my communications may not be that direct and could easily be twisted. us scorps are pretty direct people. we may keep things secret until we trust you with them... but what we do communicate is usually pretty direct. geminis, on the other hand, have a tendency to intellectualise things, run them thru their brains. so they may be communicative, but don't necessarily communicate very directly when it comes to emotions and desires. this can be extremely frustrating on both sides... the scorpio wanting more direct access to a geminis emotions and desires, and a gemini wanting the scorpio to communicate even when they don't feel like it, or feel that it would just add confusion. this was a huge wall for me and the triple gemini. your scorpio moon prob'ly helps this alot, but your gemini side is still there.

    my conclusion (which could be completely wrong) is that you're turning his expressions (even if that expression is not communicating) into a game. whether or not he returns your messages prob'ly has very little to do with you... prob'ly has alot more to do with his mood. he's prob'ly not playing games, but your gemini mind likes to turn everything into a mind game... and sometimes the games aren't that much fun. i think the gemini/scorpio connection can be really great. you gems definitely keep us scorps guessing, maintaining the "mystery" that we like, and the exploration of ideas is great. but the different forms of communication can be tough to deal with. when in doubt, consult your moon.
    • oh, and i should add... the gemini duality... intriguing, but often frustrating. it seems to me that the twins come from this intelluctualization of emotion and desire, then suddenly those emotions and desires break the confines of intellect and express themselves. that's a huge draw to geminis for a scorpio like myself... the detached girl with intense passion behind the detachment. the triple gem could go from seeming very detached to outbursts of expression in the blink of an eye. but even when i finally got to her expressive side, one wrong word from my mouth could send her right back to that detached state... very frustrating. it drew a huge rift, because i felt unable to express myself without the possibility that it might cause her to detach. having to carefully choose each word and monitor every action is extremely confining.
      • Unsu...
        I cannot do it. What I said before is that if I ask if he got my message etc. it immediately becomes that I am reading too much into why he didnt text me back and he is so busy etc. 9 times out of 10 I know when he needs his alone time and I never question him but there is always that one time that I know he is upset with something I did but he will not tell me until two days later but like many of you have said I need that immediate communication and feedback.

        Exio is really the voice of reason. My moon definately makes us click in so many different ways. Now I totally get the difference between expression and communication. You are so right. I would send him a text expressing some real feelings that I could not verbalize, he would get the text, find a way to bring it up but deny that he got the text and make me say what the text said so that he could hear it. I definately internalize way too much. I pick apart his words, his actions.

        I am not going to move on from him. There is more to this then what I am saying I just wanted some clarification.
        Thanks everyone!
        Plus I cannot believe you would even suggest I dump him. The sex! Those eyes! Those moments of having whole conversations without saying a word! Those times when I can feel him around, when my phone rings and I dont even have to look at him to know its him!
        The first time we were together and there was no awkwardness no embarassment, no questioning "does this feel good" where should I go next, we knew, we got it. Again, I do not care for the title of soul mate but there is this connection that cannot be thrown away.
        • Unsu...
          Samantha, I really do believe that we create our destiny. Don't let anyone ever tell you what you should be doing.
          I understand you wanted feedback and now you got it.
          Best of luck with everything and damn, yes, yes, yes, based on that last paragraph don't dump him.
          • Unsu...
            I'm a scorp and an intense one at times and a few years ago I dated an aquarius and she was sometimes befuddled by my moods and intense nature, but she would just let me know she was not ok with it. You can't cure a scorp as they always think they know best, but let him know you are upset and that you want to be with him and if he loves you he will ty to be nice.....or put on your sexiest underwear, give him a flash and say if you want this treat me like a goddess and watch the wheels start to turn in his head!!!!
            • i agree with this, when you ask them they do respond if they care about you.

              just tell him to play nice and they will because they care about you.
              • Unsu...
                YOU GUYS ROCK! I just figured it all out

                - I was sending the texts trying to lure him into responding. Knowing damn well that he was just off on one of his breaks. So I knew sending them that he wasnt going to respond and then I would totally anlyze it until I made myself miserable. He did not do it, I did.

                -Last couple of posts are correct. There are ways of me expressing my unhappiness without coming off as whiny. I was projecting my own insecurities onto his actions.

                -I called him today just to say hi. He got off another call to take mine and then five minutes later he had to take another call. I then started anlyzing the whole situation thinking he was mad and did not want to hear my sh$t so I was gonna text him that all was cool blah, blah and then I realized (thanks Exio!) that here I was again trying to figure things out, lure him into communicating, when if he didnt want to communicate he would not have taken my call in the first place.

                I called my kitty cat, left the door open so when he is ready to come home he will!
                Thanks again!!
  • if i were you girl, i won't text him... scorpio males doesn't wanna be ignored.. he's only power-tripping because he knows that you'll play his game.. why not try to ignore him ( no text messages, no phone calls, & no show)? and if ever you see each other, just try to drop some guy's name in the conversation? it'll surely drive him insanely jealous & paranoid... he'll be after your heels in no time at all... LONG LIVE SCORPION FEMALES! HE! HE! :D
    • At reading previous posts, I think that we Gemini sun, Scorpio moon girls need to balance our intellectual and emotional side. As I read from an astrology article, the heart and mind send different messages to the body. Try not to be over-intellectualizing or over-emotional on life and his guy, find a balance. ^_^
  • Unsu...
    Boy oh boy can i relate to you. I had a scorpio boyfriend, actually most of the guys i attract are scorpios and they all say the same thing. They are control freaks, they treat you nice and make you their one and only love , until your comfortable at home, then all of a suddden you become from best friend to enemy. Its such a sickness and i know that i still talk to him and after being apart for almost a year guess what????????/ games still going. I think if we have much confidence in ourselfves than we can beat these scorpio men at their own game. Its kinda fun when you start doing it.!!!! But then again i like a challenge. So maybe its my own sickness<<<<maybe i shouldnt have answered this!!!! LOL
    Peace and Love to all
    • Unsu...
      Uh, again, if you want to see it as a "game" so be it, and to be fair, maybe some scorpios are playing a "game".
      But for me, it's not a game, it's my own issues with intimacy, I get really close to someone, and by that I don't even necessarilly mean sexually, even just mentally and then I run.
      Now, if you want to say "Yeah, that's a game and typical of scorpios" okay then,
      But I bet every single one of you can name another sign that has done that - and that is where all of us being human overrides any astrological point(s) and unifies us with this one same battle within us all- Fear vs Courage.
      Do you have the courage to love?
      Or are you going to hide?
      Now, HIDING, THAT I DO believe is a Scorpio thing - please remember - even when you think the Scorpio is so "playin" you...We ultimately often are the hardest on ourselves - back a scorpio against the've all heard it ....and watch it sting itself to death.
      Love pulls the scorpio away from death but we are so used to the dark and that black hole of deep emotions... that we are afraid of sometimes the very thing that we so long for - love with some lightness to breath. Then we can go back in our hole but have a reason (maybe a Gemini? :-)) to come out.
      Have I thoroughly contradicted myself?
      Serves my damn Libra rising right!
  • What I have found it that your absence will drive them insane and keep them coming back. And I did not even do that on purpose in my situation.
    If you push, they step back.
    If you become needy and clingy and put pressure on them about how they feel or what they are doing it turns them off.
    Communication was never a strong point with my x scorpio...but that was just my situation.

    I wish you luck.
    • Unsu...
      yeah, you're so right. Don't be too clingy, which of you scorps don't need your space to 'sleep' in bed? not many I guess. Don't crowd us, unless we are telling a fabulous story and want the attention (on purpose of course). What you need to remember is that there are reasons why we do things, even if they are not the right reasons, we are calculated and feel that we are right....even when we are not. I am not sure about the control aspect, I've always been more giving than taking. It pleases me to give and to be selfless rather than to see someone suffer at my hand.
      Scorps loved to be teased and want to know that you are there for them, confidently, tease him back but don't cower, be confident and it will drive him mad but get him back. Confidence is such a tun on for a even match!! he-he!
      • Unsu...
        I have also realized in this past week that it is not all about me. Everything he does or does not do is not in direct relation to me. He told me I am reading too much into it and he is right.

        Thanks Kat for trying to squash the game talk. I previously posted the I will not play games as in every game there is a winner and a loser. I do need to continue to stop making it a game in my own head and I have done very well thus far.

        He has touched me in such a place that only one other man has. I was always able to be such a gemini flitting from man to man. Place to place without reprecussions and now I have someone who, if I learn to control some of my narcissistic tendicies, will nicely pull me back to earth and help balance me. When I do our charts and even check out those love compatability thingys, that is one of the recurring items. Gem's help scorps lighten up and Scorps help us calm down.

        *DEEP BREATH* The world does not revolve around me..

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