Just about the same time as I discovered astrology (which was well over a decade ago.)

"If looks could kill!"

Been getting that line ever since I was a small child. When my mom married my step-father I hated him with a passion, he is a major piece of shit. I used his toothbrush to clean the piss he left on my toilet when I was 8.

The fact that I was already interested in and getting feelings
of sexual arousal at the age of four.




damn....

What I knew about myself:
even as a kid... i preferred to be alone, reading books in the library (Nasruddin, i remember. 6th grade lunchtime read. and then encyclopedias. believe it or not. they were more impressive companies than other stupid kids who only talked about their fellow classmates or play silly games.)
sex-obsessed even when very young... as a teenager i wondered if every other girl was same... though i never opened up about it to any of my friends...
and i was very secretive, but of course that's a cancer trait isn't it.
and i was religious, thanks to dad... but then i outgrew our christian tradition and got into occult/witchy/magic stuff in high school. (my classmate thought i was a real witch, just because she got a sty after i stared at her real hard when she pissed me off... dunno maybe that's just coincidence. although i must say the rain sometimes coincided with my feelings in those days....)
i loved philosophy... and pondering about life and people...

what other people said about me:
my mother told me i was too quiet - said only either "yes" or "no," - or nodded or shook my head. and that's all they could get out of me in spite of the coaxing, encouragement, pressure, etc...
but when i spoke at length about something, like a classmates sorry plight, i sounded like i was the one who got in trouble. mom wonders why the hell i should get so affected when i had nothing to do with it...
overly, overly intense when doing something i enjoyed, like playing with neighborhood kids... (and the other parents wondered if i was a real human child)
my mother also said there was something primitively seductive about me, even in mundane actions like standing silently........ (i suppose that was the reason she told the hair stylist to give me a boy's haircut... which in turn convinced me that i was thoroughly ugly and that no amount of make up or hair styling will improve my appeal... it made me look like an imp.)

I didn't know this was a scorpio thing until more than a year ago.