Why is my Scorpio guy stinging me so bad? :(

topic posted Wed, April 29, 2009 - 7:17 PM by  Unsubscribed
Ok this is a very looong story, so try to bear with me :) There's so much to this story and a lot of drama, but I'm trying to shorten it as much as I can, so this is just the basics lol... But I'm trying to figure out exactly why my Scorpio guy friend is stinging me now. We have only known each other from myspace so it's always been a long distance 'relationship' for us. I live in WA, USA and he lives in Italy. But starting out we had a very intense connection and long distance relationship. And he would always tell me how he loved me and I'm his perfect girl, etc., and that I reminded him a lot of his Pisces ex-gf who he loved (I'm Pisces too btw). And he told me that he has dreamed about me for a long time (for a year before i even realized he liked me so much), and he couldn't believe we were actually starting a relationship, because he has wanted me for so long. And I was 18 at the time (I'm 19 now) but he was 33, and he wanted me to come to Italy really bad to visit him. He knew I couldn't go though because I still live with my parents and they would think I was crazy if I went to Italy to meet a foreign guy they don't know lol =/ But as time went on and we got even closer, then he started telling me that it's too hard for him to keep waiting for me because he needs a physical relationship too and he feels like he's going crazy when we can't physically be together. And he started distancing himself from me more and hiding his feelings more because it was getting hard for him, and hard for me too.

And then he told me last November that for now I can date other guys and he can date other girls until I can visit him. And I understood that because I know that he can't just wait for me forever. But here's where it gets more confusing for me... I started flirting with another guy online (who lives in the USA lol, I'll call him J.), and the only reason I started flirting with J. was because me and my Italian guy (I'll call him M.) were kind of distancing from each other (because we were trying to not get too emotionally attached). And I told M. about the new guy I was talking to online because I wanted to be honest with him. But M. seemed jealous about him. And he would tell me things like J. is no good for me. He never gave me any reasons, he just said he was no good for me. Actually he did say that I should date younger guys closer to my age, and I guess he didn't like the fact that J. was 33 like him (and also a Scorpio). I'm guessing that he was probably thinking that if I started any relationships with guys closer to my age that it wouldn't be as serious. But anyway, J. had to leave for business, and he was traveling all over the USA and so I wasn't able to talk to him anymore because he was really busy. Btw, I told J. about M. too, because I was being honest with him too, and I wanted him to know that for now I'm not sure what would happen with us because I still have feelings for M.

But when J. left for business then I started talking to M. more again, and one time we were chatting on an Italian forum and there was just me, M, and another lady there.. but we were chatting about Astrology signs, and I was saying that I love Scorpio and Cancer men (since I'm a Pisces). And then I could tell that M. was getting kind of irritated because of how he was trying to ignore me on the forum. And then he said, "You just love boys, you are always cheating on me with guys on myspace!" I think he just said it out of anger and he didn't really think about it first. But I was shocked and embarrassed because he said that in front of the other lady on the forum. So I just told him "This is not the place to talk about this.", and then I sent him a PM and asked him why he said that?! And I reminded him how he told me that it's ok for me to date other guys for now. And I told him that he has been acting mad at me lately too. Then he PM'd me back and said that he was not mad at me because he ignores people when he's mad at them. Then I replied and told him that he did seem to be ignoring me more lately though. Oh and I forgot to say that right before all that happened on the forum, he told me about a dream he had about me, and he said that in his dream I visited Italy without even telling him and he found me there dancing with a bunch of guys like a slut! =/ And he knows full well that I am not a slut at all! I have had only one sexual relationship with my ex-bf! And I don't 'frivolously' flirt with guys either, I always take love and even flirting seriously.

And anyway, in the meantime we were still getting closer, or at least I was feeling closer to him and I realized how much I actually loved him then. And I would write him very erotic stories about me and him for him, because he always tells me how he loves my sexual imagination :) But not only erotic, but very emotional and loving too. Because I was trying to tell him how strong my feelings were getting for him. And then, (it's a long story) but I found out that he was also starting a relationship with an 18 yr old girl from Italy too (who's a Leo btw)! It was long distance for them though too... they have never met in person. She was having a lot of the same problems I was having I guess, that her parents wouldn't want her to go meet a strange guy they didn't know either. And I was heartbroken at first because he was trying to hide it from me! And hide it from her too. But once the shock wore off, I understood and wasn't mad about it because we had the agreement that we could date other people for now. I was just sad and hurt that he never told me and he was trying to hide it from me. And I also did not understand at all why he would say I was cheating on him when he was also flirting with another girl! And yet I was honest with it, but he was not!

And to add more drama to the story, there was another guy who was someone I knew from work that had asked me out a few times before, but I always told him no because I still had strong feelings for M. But once I found out that M. was flirting with another girl and working towards a relationship with her, and since J. was out on business all the time so I never talked with him anymore because he was always busy, then I accepted a date with the guy from work. And I let M. know too because I was always honest with him. But then later M. was acting more stand-offish and kind of mad at me and acting jealous about the guy I started dating. And M. told me that now he's even more unsure of long distance relationships with girls because I didn't waste any time meeting other guys! :( And he told me that he could see that I was always ready but I was just waiting for his authorization! (His English isn't real good lol). And I reminded him again how he told me I could date other boys back in November, and this was March! And I also told him how I turned this guy down a few times before accepting a date with him because I still had such strong feelings for M. And I told him that I probably never would have even started dating this guy if it wasn't for all the drama that just happened when I found out how M. is trying to start a relationship with another girl.

But to make a long story shorter... he's been more and more distant with me, and acting mad at me more :( and the last thing he told me when I was trying to ask him why he seemed so jealous of me dating other guys when he was also starting a relationship with another girl, and after we had an agreement that it's ok to date other people for now, then he told me that I can date who I want to but he can't wait for me thinking about it, because he's too sensitive :( And that was about 2 weeks ago, and I've tried to talk to him almost every day since then, but he has been completely ignoring me :( And I told him how bad it's hurting me that he won't talk to me anymore, and why is he trying to punish me? Because I love him, and even if I can only love him as a friend, that's ok. But he hasn't said one word to me since then :( And I'm so heartbroken.. I've been crying a lot lately because I just don't understand why he's acting like this! We started our relationship about a year ago, and I love him so much now. I just don't want to throw our friendship down the drain! I want to stay his friend even if we can't physically be together. But he doesn't seem to even want to be my friend anymore! :( So why is he trying to sting me so bad now? What do you Scorpios think?

posted by:
  • Unsu...
    If he is 33, and you are 19, then he should have no problem meeting your parents. Or at least say that. If you are the girl of his dreams, then he should come TO YOU.

    Aren't you worth it?

    I'd say yes. If you teach men (especially scorpio men) how to treat you right from the get - go, you will never have this kind of jealousy thingy in your way. Each time you let one walk on you, it becomes easier to let it keep happening.... going to a not good place.

    If he is possesive, without trying to come to the states, - that would be a warning light to me. just my opinion. But these days, there are alot'
    of unpleasent things that happen to younger american women. He should understand, and want your comfort to be first. If not, he is thinking of himself, not you. What he is thinking, is not even important, because it doesn't seem to take your youth and safety in consideration. I'm not everyone, but i have found the very best lovers are ones that become your friend first.

    What do you think is wise for you, considerate of the parent units, and safe, yet enouph to get to know him?

    i'm intrested in what other folks here have to say too.

    whats his rising, and moon?
    • Unsu...
      Yes I agree that he is being very selfish. I also asked him why doesn't he come to me!? He never really said why, but I think it's because he has had a lot of relationships in the past that have turned out badly and he's afraid of getting hurt again. So he wants me to take the chance I guess, but he doesn't want to take a chance on getting hurt again.

      But how do you teach a Scorpio man how to treat you right and not let him walk on you?? like you said here-
      "I'd say yes. If you teach men (especially scorpio men) how to treat you right from the get - go, you will never have this kind of jealousy thingy in your way. Each time you let one walk on you, it becomes easier to let it keep happening.... going to a not good place. "

      Isn't it a fine line? Because I know that they don't like pushovers (which I'm not), but they also don't usually like bossy or domineering women either. I do have pretty good self confidence, and I'm not a pushover, but I'm easy going, and I can go with the flow easily.

      And we are (or were) friends too.. we always got along so well and talk so easily to each other. And he used to seem to trust me really well too and talk about things with me that he wouldn't talk about with other people. But I don't think he trusts me anymore since I started dating :( I think that he feels like I betrayed him.. even though I did not!

      I'm not sure what his rising sign is but his Moon is in Aquarius, his Sun, Mercury, and Uranus is in Scorpio, Venus is in Libra, and Mars is in Cancer.
      • Unsu...
        I'm not sure what his rising sign is but his Moon is in Aquarius, his Sun, Mercury, and Uranus is in Scorpio, Venus is in Libra, and Mars is in Cancer. ''

        im gonna process this info, and come back to you, cause it looks like some complicated stuff going on there, so i will think on this, and get back, cause you seem sincere and its worth more than a 5 minute answer. Maybe someone else will add some input while i am in scorpionic introspection mode..

        now tell us your information too, for comparison and reflection.. :)
        • Unsu...
          Ok thanks :D

          My Sun, Mercury, and Venus is in Pisces, Moon in Gemini, Mars in Capricorn, and Aries rising (I recently found out that my rising is Aries, I had my wrong birth time before and thought it was Cancer lol) :)
          • Mars opposed Mars can be quite tough!

            At times it can seem like both of you are really are moving in opposite directions and then get really upset with each other but then kind of stick like glue together. Not all too fun! Can be quite painful because its like sticking two together because you feel that its your obligation, and that burns both of you in the end.

            With Moon in Gemini and Moon in Aquarius the written world of the internet is a perfect spot! Both of you love to share your emotional nature in written language. You both can understand and talk out eachothers feelings fluently. The only issue I have is Venus in Pisces Vs Venus in Libra. Libra Venus is balanced and fair-minded. There is nothing wrong with liking something because its beautiful and socially appealing. Though Pisces on the other hand is more of the poor mans best friend. I say this by when I was pan handling the other day... I tell you the only people that give you money are the ones who don't got any to start off with. The expensive cars just fly right on by. Venus in Libra will drain Venus in Pisces and might accidentally take advantage of it. Both love peace and harmony, Pisces Venus finds beauty in almost anything.

            With that strong Capricorn side in your chart and his Venus and Mars also in Cardinal signs, that's a pretty addictive connection. AND more in the sense of squares. Uniqueness... Seeing your beauty in poetry and in word. And still Mars in Cancer he will always remain loyal to his own land. Cause its a very patriotic position to have Mars at.

            His Pluto is also in Libra and all his Scorpio energy flows in that direction and ends at Venus. He is a natural charmer. I say that there's nothing wrong with keeping a good connection. But when it comes down to it.... ITS ALL TALK

            Your still sitting in front of the computer.... Not on a plane.

            He still tells you how he wants to see other people, but leave you on the side.... Sorry on a personal note I am not Second Wife lol I am not someones replacement. Get what I'm saying? Think if the girl really loved him that he started seeing, is it wrong for him to dump her and both of you on your merry way? lol Seriously that's not my idea of how you treat others.

            If you feel like its a must, Italy takes in tons of foreigners because they have a low birthrate... TONS OF ALIENS heheheh

            I say don't get too caught up. I am an INFJ myself, and I always liked this little line:

            INFJs like to please others and tend to contribute their own best efforts in all situations. They prefer and enjoy agreeing with others, and find conflict disagreeable and destructive. What is known as ESP is likely found in an INFJ more than in any other types, although other types are capable of such phenomena. INFJs have vivid imaginations exercised both as memory and intuition, and this can amount to genius, resulting at times in an INFJ's being seen as mystical. This unfettered imagination often will enable this person to compose complex and often aesthetic works of art such as music, mathematical systems, poems, plays, and novels. In a sense, the INFJ is the most poetic of all the types. Just as the ENTJ cannot not lead, so must an INFJ intuit; this capability extends to people, things, and often events, taking the form of visions, episodes of foreknowledge, premonitions, auditory and visual images of things to come. INFJs can have uncanny communications with certain individuals at a distance.

            The last line esp. I have many loves that are personal and dear to me that are at an Ear a distance. Its cool.

            I say don't chase a fairytale only if you want to be the star role of it ;) Do whatever you like!
            • Unsu...
              I agree with most of what you said, but I just want to stay his friend, even if we never meet each other in person. I can accept him dating other girls and marrying someone else someday. But he apparently does not want to see me dating other guys. I don't think he can be my friend and know that I'm dating someone else. Like when he told me that I can date other guys but he can't wait for me thinking about that because he's too sensitive. I think it's hard for him when he starts to get feelings for someone and then seeing them dating someone else. And it shows when he keeps getting jealous all the time when I talk about any other guys.

              and you said here-
              "He still tells you how he wants to see other people, but leave you on the side.... Sorry on a personal note I am not Second Wife lol I am not someones replacement. Get what I'm saying? Think if the girl really loved him that he started seeing, is it wrong for him to dump her and both of you on your merry way? lol Seriously that's not my idea of how you treat others."

              I knew him long before she did though. But like I said, I can just be his friend, but she doesn't want me to even be his friend. And I do think that he is playing us both, because he has never told me that she is his gf yet or that he's even in a relationship with her yet. He wants me to believe that he's not serious about her, but I'm sure he's probably telling her that he is. And some of the drama that I left out before is that his new girl does not want me even talking to him at all. She's really threatened by me for some reason. She was even writing me a bunch of hateful messages and acting like a stalker to me until I had to block her =/ She wrote lots of messages that I never even read too because I was trying to ignore her. She was threatening me telling me that if I keep talking to him than she will spread all these lies about me, etc. And I even told her that if she's his gf then I won't try to take him from her, because I don't do that! And I'm happy to be just his friend anyway. But he has never told me that she is his gf or that they're in a relationship yet. I told her she needs to be getting mad at him, not me. He's the one who has been playing us both and telling us both different stories. But she prefers to take it all out on me instead.

  • I am in agreement with Slick about his coming to you. A man is a man whether he lives next door or in Italy. I'm sure it would be great for you to get to visit Italy, but for the purpose of establishing a good precedent in your relationship he should show that he is willing to put forth the effort to come to you. That's what men do! If a man wants you, he will do what he has to to get you. Especially a SCORPIO man! If he is telling you he just can't get on a plane because he's been hurt before, then I personally think that's rubbish. He needs to come first, and then you can reciprocate by going to Italy the next time.

    The jealousy part is par for the course with a Scorpio (I have a Scorpio husband). If you are dating him, then you are his. Even if he is a very sweet and loving guy, he will feel this. He will not take kindly to other men wanting what is his, even if he is dating other women. He should not be allowed to have his cake and eat it, too. Either he does what it takes to win you, or you do as you will with whomever you want.

    My advice is that you need to meet this man, and any other man you are dating online, in person before you should let all of this drama into your life. People can be very, very different in person, so you really don't know who it is that you are going to all this trouble for.
    • This post was deleted by (unknown)
    • Unsu...
      "I am in agreement with Slick about his coming to you. A man is a man whether he lives next door or in Italy. "

      lol Yes that's true :)
      I don't really understand him though. I mean I do understand him in some ways very well... that Scorpio-Pisces connection I guess :) But in other ways I don't understand him at all, like how he reacts to certain things.
      Like the last couple days he has been looking a lot more than usual at my myspace page lately (I have one of those tracker maps on there that shows who visits my page). I'm guessing maybe because I haven't emailed him in the last couple days and he's probably wondering why not lol. But it's because I have been emailing him in the last couple weeks telling him exactly how I feel, and how hurt I am about how he's been ignoring me lately and how it seems like he wants to just throw our friendship away :(, and he hasn't replied for 2 weeks. So I stopped emailing him. I figured that either he needs his space, or time to think about things, or maybe time to plot more revenge lol, who knows. My last email to him probably surprised him though because I was harsh with him this time, and I've never really shown any anger at him before, at least not this much. But I told him that I wish I was physically with him now so I could show him how I really feel, I would scream at him that I hate him because he's hurting me.. but my mind is screaming I love him! And I hate that he has any control over me! And I told him it's not fair because he's not telling me anything.. he just needs to just tell me he hates me if that's now he feels now and get it over with. I need to be able to get him out of my heart! :( But he's keeping me hanging on. And I told him he's mean and he's enjoying hurting me and I should hate him for that, but I still love him and it's not fair!

      I was glad to finally tell him exactly how I feel and how angry and hurt I am, but I feel bad about it too and I hope I didn't hurt him too much :(
      • Unsu...
        If I had a soft n´gooey scorp on my tail, looking for love, I would tell the crawler just how icy my inner landscape is: a barren tundra with snowcapped mountains in the background. "-Don´t gimme that sweet-talk, old gator!" I would hiss...
        • Hi! Ok here we go,

          it's called withdrawal Heather, Scorpios do it, when they've been hurt or are frustrated, they also like to have their cake and eat it too, when they are unfulfilled, but can not bear you feasting your eyes on anything but him, which is where more frustration builds, can be veerrry jealous we all know, we must never forget,

          you could be honest but don't rub it in, pace the way you tell him you are dating someone else! be sensitive to his jealousy if you don't want to activate it, remember the only reason he told you to see other people was because of his insecurity, he'd rather act as if he set you free first, but he really doesn't want you to get away little birdie, but oh well because he's not helping the situation and he's not meeting you halfway.. you should be demanding that - a way to earn his respect

          it's just not fair to you for him to keep you in the dark and pretend that things are different than they are, but this is also a typical negative Scorpio characteristic, the more that he can keep from you, the more he can control you and keep you close, remember that , it's all about possessing you.. mentally, physically the whole nine

          if they are stinging, there is still passion there... if they don't give a snuff, you'll really get nothing... blank

          but he's been keeping up with you behind the scenes like you said, so there's your sign, if you want to continue to be his friend, let him figure it out for himself over a period of time, but don't fall at his feet when he's stinging you, that's how you play his game, leave him alone and he'll figure out what he wants to do-- more ways of earning his respect - will also respond or learn from you mirroring his actions, limiting your contact, distancing yourself, but this is subtle and manipulative and could get messy but it's the game he's playing and even though that's how you'd win, i wouldn't necessarily chose to play at his level, but he'd probably fall deeper for you if you began to mirror his own heart, but no go with earning his respect

          and he should come see you if he's serious about you, it's ludicrous to suggest that you come there first, that is kinda weird of him

          with the other girl, he might've started to make you jealous but got more serious, he's capable of having feelings for both of you, my guess is that he does, he will be very good at creating multiple loves at once, usually beginning out of spite for the first

          btw you said you have the mypace tracker on myspace-- quick question about those-- can you track anybody's name? how does it work? or does it track someone only if they have a myspace account-- say your boss is looking at your account -would it show if he doesn't have a page? I always wondered, not trying to change the subject..
          • Unsu...
            Thank you Sunshine :) You answered my question perfectly. I think you are exactly right too, I had a feeling about what he was going through and what he was trying to do to me... and everything you told me was what I felt was happening too. So now I understand what he is going through, and that he is feeling hurt, and I think he's trying to make sure that I'm hurting like he is (so he is putting me through all this now). I think he is testing me too, I don't want to really get into it.. but he recently did something to see how I would react and respond. In the last few days since my last email to him, someone messaged me talking about him, and I know M. was behind it because he did it to see what I would say about him and to see what I was feeling about him. At first I didn't realize what he was doing.. but after I thought about it a little bit then I realized it. (That Pisces radar I guess lol :)) And I think I passed his 'test' lol. I still never talk badly about him or try to make other people thing negative about him. I'm always honest and upfront, and I won't ever stab him in the back, or try to make myself look 'good' and him look 'bad' to other people. And I know he could see that by how I responded to the message.

            Oh that reminds me... do Scorpios like it if you tell them that you understand what they are doing to you, and you understand why they're doing it? Because I do understand what he is doing and why he's doing it. But I don't know if he would like it if he knew I realized it lol. Even though the more I realize what he's doing, the more I care for him and don't want to hurt him. But should I just let him think that I don't understand his game? Or would he respect me more if he realizes that I'm sensitive enough to understand him?

            And about the myspace tracker, you can get it from I'm not really sure if it only tracks someone who has a myspace account or not though, that's actually something I've wondered before too lol.
  • Sorry I did not read this all ........ I'm going to mention though that from experience Scorpio guys do things to in order to protect you. They WILL actually go out of their way to go out of their way to do something that keeps you feeling comfortable, or even tied down. He may think you likes this. I don't know, they're pretty mysterious. Even when they're not on the prowl it's easy for them to attract people even strangers.

    You are a Pisces so chances are you're being much too accomodating for him. By general rules in astrology, I would never ever advise a Pisces to go for a Scorpio. Your better match is someone who you don't have to convince hi and lo that you are the one for him. because some of these guys may never understand.

    When you learn that guys will do as little as possible to get as much as they want you'll realise things about them that make you need them much much less.

    I know this sounds like a personal message on a public forum. But it goes out to anyone who has been disturbed by a weird guy that prances around in clown attire and has but 30 faces.

    The inner soul has so many more brighter intelligent things to say and I wish that you'll never forget it.
    • Unsu...
      "You are a Pisces so chances are you're being much too accomodating for him. By general rules in astrology, I would never ever advise a Pisces to go for a Scorpio. Your better match is someone who you don't have to convince hi and lo that you are the one for him. because some of these guys may never understand. "

      I was being too accommodating to him for a while, but I kind of set him in his place I think (my Aries rising probably helped lol). And I've never had to try to convince him that I am the one for him, he told me I was from the start. It's just that the more our feelings got involved, the more secretive he got. We are still friends, but I realize now that we can't really be close friends again until we are both completely over each other, I told him that too. Right now we are both too sensitive about each other still. I'm dating a new guy now and my Scorpio friend isn't happy about it, but what can you do. I'm not just going to not date because he's not happy about it, while he can date other girls. I hope we can be close friends again someday but I realize that we might not ever be able to be that close again, there might be too many hard feelings and hurt feelings between both of us now. I guess time will tell.

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